Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Heaven's LiveJournal:

Saturday, December 22nd, 2001
11:20 am	Day 3: Poem 3 I glance across the room.. she's covering her face.. though it's obvious she's crying.. she tries to hide her sobbing.. Her chest slowly moves up and down.. her hair covers her beautiful face.. she sniffles.. then wipes her pale cheeks.. as if wiping away all her pain.. As if.. wiping away all of herself.. She slowly raises her eyes.. they meet mine.. and for a second.. I felt I understood.. I look at the ground.. but for one brief moment.. our minds were as one.. our emotions connected, somehow.. and I know.. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 12th, 2001
4:25 pm	Feeling guilty.......... I feel very guilty right now.... Okay....My friend supposedly likes this guy, although she doesn't even know him....I'm friends with him, and him and I spend lots of time together....inside of school....generally not outside, but that will change now....ie: Mock Trial 2 times a week for 2 hours each day....which will also be extended due to competition....and Drama 5 days a week an hour everyday and which will ALSO be extended due to The Crucible performances coming up.... Well....I'm sort of....kind of....A little teeny tiny bit falling for him....He's just so darn funny....I can't help myself....*laughs* More later....I need to sleep.... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 11th, 2001
2:54 pm	Great Fabulous Fantastic 99/100 *blows on fingers and rubs against shirt* Guess I can be funny after all eh? Story behind the weird ramblings ^^....Had to do a comedic monologue today, and I was ACTUALLY funy....I WAS I WAS....and it wasnt funny like....HA *serious face*....It was funny like HAHHAHAHHAHA OMIGOD DID YOU JUST SEE THAT?!?!?!! HOLY SHIT.... exactly SO anyways....I have to be back at school in an hour or so....so I should probably start getting ready....Tonight it an important night in the world of Kim and Homecoming....:) I will write again about todays occurances when I get back from Mock Trial....bye everyone :) (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 4th, 2001
6:59 pm	went birthday shopping for the first time.... This is what I got so far.... Pretty butterfly ring.... Red shiny belt.... Shimmer make-up.... Dark plaid pants.... Black shirt with schruchy cleavage area.... Black/White sweater coat.... Red pants.... Black cashmere sweater.... Shirt that says "Good girl, gone bad".... Jeans with back pockets.... Red tank top.... blue tank top.... And I only spent....$150 so mom is taking me out again to shop.... She said next Thursday is her day off....But I have Mock Trial from 4:30-6:30 so that doesn't work.... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001
7:40 am	I'm thrilled they are yet to find this journal....usually they have me tracked down within 2 days or so....But no....I've been extra careful who I give this too and make sure my friends don't list me as friends and such.... Well.... My mom stayed home sick today, so now I don't have to go to school until 8:00am because I have to do my geometry and world history homework I didn't do last night because I thought I would be getting to school at 7:15.... School starts at 8:50am....Mighty early....I think Nicole is going to be at school, so at least I'll have some company....maybe we'll ditch my HW idea and go to McDonalds for Breakfast or something.... I dunno....but maybe I should go now....It would be smart....gives me more time to do my homework before school starts.... :) I will write about the events of today as soon as I get home :) I promise :) Have a good day everyone :) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 2nd, 2001
7:18 pm	I was gibbed I was in PE, first period....7am today.... Playing volleryball on the wooden floors of the gym.... The other team served, and we were trying our hardest to win.... I was running after the ball....and some other girl on my team was running for the ball.... As soon as I hit it....BAM, I was taken down.... The girl couldn't stop her body from moving in that direction....So BAM, I was killed..... I go sliding across the gym floor on my right knee and then just sit there for a really long time because it hurts so bad.... I get up and I'm all pusey and gross.... But of course, I take on for the team and get up and serve....and WE WIN!!! (Comment on this)
4:45 pm	Angel Like an angel you appeared, and at once I knew, That the love I felt in my heart had never been more true. Though I often find it hard to show, how much you mean to me, I need you to believe me now, when I say you are the only one I see. For you I would climb any mountain high, Pluck any star from the midnight sky, Catch a dancing sunbeam in the palm of my hand, Give you a feathery cloud on which the angels stand. I want to say I?m sorry for what happened in the past, If you can forgive me, I know together we can last. I did not know how, to express the way I feel, But now I know for sure that this love is real. For you I would cry several crystal tears, Create a life full of happy years, Frame every snowflake in its perfect form, Catch every song from the birds at dawn. I pray that you understand the way that I feel for you, And that you can tell me you feel the same way too. I want to say what I should have said from the start, I love you. I love you with all my heart. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 1st, 2001
5:11 pm	Love What exactly does love mean to some people? Obviously it means different things to different people, but the universal meaning of love, is what I'm talking about....a common description of love, is an intense feeling of emotions that engulfs your entire mind, and body, and every sense you own....A feeling of overwhelming joy when you're near the person you love....A sense of overwhelming pain when he or she is not near you....A sense of heartache, yet pure bliss at the same time....All emotions, mixed into one, metaphorical, mixing pot.... I've thought, twice, that I was in love....Yes, twice....and I'm only 14....Nearly 15 though....But now that I look back on both experiences, it was puppy love....and lust....I never really WANTED to be with these people, I simply wanted them to want me, so I felt good.... One of the guys basically begged me to go out with him....and thats a great feeling....for some guy to want to be with you bad enough he persists and persists, until you give in to his boyish good looks and irresistable charm.... The other, someone I never would have thought to associate myself with....someone unique and mysterious, someone, I would, under no circumstances, ever date....But I did....Because he was all those things.... But....I don't know love, I have yet to find a guy who I can love....and who can love me in return with no boudaries, and nothing holding you back....And no one trying to break the two of you up, because everyone knows you're going to get married someday, because you are just the perfect most understanding couple ever.... But no....I'm only 14....I can't know those deep running emotions that control your every step....how could I possibly, I'm naive, immature....and I have yet to achieve the comprehension and maturity to love another....That and the fact that the saying "You must love yourself before you can love anyone else" I believe is very true and I don't know quite yet, if I'm completely comfortable with the real me.... I don't want a boyfriend right now....I've decided all they do is take up my precious ((studying)) hours, and make my grades drop....happened last year....and in 7th grade....so right now....I'm playing it cool while I try to catch up with myself....*sigh* hard thing to do, ya know? Usually no one reads super long entries....but I do....and I write them too.... Going to Geometry today....I hear *clomp clomp clomp* and who runs up beside me, but Mr.Sautner and says "Wow, this school is getting way too crowded," to which I replied, "God yes it is.. Kick some out Saut...." Which he proceeded to run back to his English class, trying to be on time, like teachers are expected to me....*laughs* I remember last year, when we had Drama right after lunch, we would go into the theatre and Sautner wouldn't get thereuntil 5-15 minutes into the period....which means, no one was ever marked tardy....I would stroll into class 5 minutes late and take my seat and talk to Mel for a few minutes and he would show up.... Well....Before I was completely engulfed in Drama and spent my lunch times in the theatre anyways....But now our beloved theatre is gone....I was hoping to have it done by my birthday, but yeah right....Hopefully by Halloween then.... Well....this is our schedule so far for Drama....write a scene from the Rockwell picture, which....I decided to write a monologue on....I'm the only one....Sautner said "I figured you would be the only one"....But seriously I love that paper I wrote on that picture.... Then....We're going to memorize monologues and we go up in front of our class starting next monday....I'm good, because this piece is really easy to improv around on, and so I never really get lost, but I do jump around....and I think it sounds better that way....:).... Then....the....15th, Sautner is giving out roles for The Crucible....and then....Crucible all the way through November.... After that....we have to do peer editing and ect on our pieces from the Rockwell pictures....Then, he says the best of them will go up on stage....I hope mine is one of them, because I am really proud of it....:)....Natalie read it today and she said she nearly cried when she read it.... Natalies mother is dying with cancer....I don't know how to react to that....I always want to hug her, but she doesn't seem sad....she seems like she's very accepting of it, even though she loves her mother more then anything....But I guess when something is that inevitable you have to be okay with it.... I love Nathalie to pieces, she's really sweet and I don't care what anybody says about that....I hope we stay in contact after she leaves for college :) Cassie....on the other hand....she seems so....distant, cold you could say....I mean, I can tell she's really nice and stuff....but she doesn't like hyper-active people, which just sort of shoots me down automatically, even though Sautner said we're very alike on many levels.... Kevin hasn't been to school since Wednesday....or he transferred out of my drama class or something....I think I'll miss him, but maybe this is for the better....Jon hasn't been around much either....strange.... Paul says he's going to leave geometry because he can't fail and he already has an F in the class....I don't want him to go because then I'll have no one to talk to in class....But I guess....thats selfish....so I'll let him go.... My hair is turning blonder everyday....doesn't look bad....I'm actually good as a blonde....but it's weird....Well....time to practice my monologue....I need to smoooosh it into my head so I don't forget it when I get on our "stage" ((or the pathetic box we call a stage, until we get our theatre)) (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 30th, 2001
7:46 pm	The girl In My MIrror My life used to be abnormally perfect in every aspect you could imagine. My life, used to be one of those storybook lives that every little girl dreams of having. My parents gave me everything I could ever imagine having; ponies, toys, and beautiful dressed. I was brought up to believe that I was better then all the other children because they envied what I had. I never have had any friends, mommy and daddy told me they would be my only friends. For a while, they could be my friends, for a while, I thought I didn?t need anyone else. Mommy and daddy died today, in a car crash, right in our neighborhood. A drunk boy who lived three houses down was going out, while my parents were coming home from another business party. It was nearly midnight and I was home all alone, when I heard it. The tires squealing, the sounds of screaming, metal crushing metal, glass shattering. Frightened, I wobbled out of bed and went to the front door and opened it. That?s when my life turned from sheer bliss to hatred and disgust. The blue Jaguars paint, which had once been so shiny and eye-catching was now a crumpled heap, inter-twining with the cheap gold paint of the truck. You could hardly make out what the mess was when you were looking at it in the dim glow of the grotesque fluorescent light, but I knew. I think I knew the second I heard it. I looked more closely at the cars, trying to catch a glimpse of any movement within them. All I could see was my mothers pale face, pressed against the passenger side window, staring blankly at me, with a thin line of blood trickling from her slightly gaping mouth. After a few minutes, the entire atreet was filled with police cars and fire trucks and ambulances. Flashing blue and red lights, and questioning on-lookers. I stepped forward and told the officers that the once awe-inspiring Jaguar belonged to my parents. I think they were surprised to see that I wasn?t crying, yet one woman police officer came and talked to me sypathetically. I don?t know why I can?t cry, is it possible I never really loved them. I mean, of course I love them, they?re my parents. You have to wonder if there was another reason for me loving them. They haven?t been around much the past few years, always running off to some dinner party, or meeting. I don?t think I?ve even spoken to my father in over a year. This woman in the picture is my mother, so beautiful, so innocent. She didn?t deserve to die, she never did anything to hurt anyone, intentionally. The boy in the truck, on the other hand, is charged with involuntary manslaughter and driving under the influence. Not to mention him being under legal drinking age. Have you ever just looked in the mirror and thought about who you really are, without your friends, without family, or school, or any of the daily pressures we all go through. This is the first time I?ve ever done this, and to tell you the truth, it?s depressing. When you open yourself to the truth, you will inevitably get it, and I did. My parents died today. Maybe it was simply their time to go. Mom was so beautiful with her long flowing brown hair, and dad with his dark eyes and mysterious smiles. I will miss them, because I loved them. We all have to realize though, that life will go on, and it will go on with me. Current Mood: artistic Current Music: Mirror- BS (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 29th, 2001
11:41 am	Well Well Well.... Here is is.... Journal #5....For all those who read this....Read KittyKymmee and KrispieKitty50 for details about me.... I want this journal to have many friends....and many regular readers, so I will make it as truthfully interesting as possible.... My house got egged last night....That's always fun....By my ex-boyfriends best friends, morons let me see them....haha In Drama we're starting monologues next Monday, and then we're starting our studies of the Crucible....The threatre, is magically coming along very nicely, it looks very good inside....Though not much has changed.... Hopefully it opens soon so we can perform the play for the Juniors when Mr.Sautner originally hoped.... I wrote a paper for Drama, the girls I read it to were amazed, and one said it should win the pulitzer prize....*laughs* I'll post it on here as soon as I have some time to type the whole thing up.... But I admit, it was good....I tried to make it exceptionally good....It's about a picture that Norman Rockwell painted.... Well....Must be off to find LJ friends :) (Comment on this)
11:41 am	Well Well Well.... Here is is.... Journal #5....For all those who read this....Read KittyKymmee and KrispieKitty50 for details about me.... I want this journal to have many friends....and many regular readers, so I will make it as truthfully interesting as possible.... My house got egged last night....That's always fun....By my ex-boyfriends best friends, morons let me see them....haha In Drama we're starting monologues next Monday, and then we're starting our studies of the Crucible....The threatre, is magically coming along very nicely, it looks very good inside....Though not much has changed.... Hopefully it opens soon so we can perform the play for the Juniors when Mr.Sautner originally hoped.... I wrote a paper for Drama, the girls I read it to were amazed, and one said it should win the pulitzer prize....*laughs* I'll post it on here as soon as I have some time to type the whole thing up.... But I admit, it was good....I tried to make it exceptionally good....It's about a picture that Norman Rockwell painted.... Well....Must be off to find LJ friends :) (Comment on this)